My life is a series of self-realizations sewn together. There’s so much going on at any given moment: work, learning, healing, connecting with those around me, retreating, recharging, loving with my heart and bones, listening, dreaming, remembering, and writing.
How exhausting? How fulfilling?
I’ve been reflecting on the video below for the last month so I can better understand what it means to be human.
What’s your take?
What a whirlwind of a month, eh?
Most of what prolonged November’s words was me not wanting to add my voice to the sea of noises that occurred once Donald Trump won the election. People from left, right, in-between, and not on the political spectrum at all have been adding their two cents. It goes without saying: we have a full piggy bank at this point.
Now, to rest. Then work.
I’ve had many thoughtful conversations regarding Trump and Hillary and America moving forward from this season of life. People from all across the spectrum of thoughts and values. Some heated debates, some head-nodding and silent agreement in one another.
The sun came out, just as I imagined it would, and reminded us what it means to live. To do this hard-to-quantify work on days when there is a deep void for some and a heart filled to the brim for others, this is what it means to serve. There is much work to be done and I’ve grown apathetic towards the chatter. It’s not that I’m unwilling to have thoughtful discussion, it’s that I’m positioning myself to do the work that is necessary for healing.
The chatter will continue. Tweets and timeline posts and phone calls will all exist next to one another. We will have the ability to connect via fingertips and glowing screens. Let us not forget the humanity behind putting down our devices, moving away from screens, and working together to stand for those who need it the most.
The more I grow into myself, the more I’m realizing that the wellness of my headspace often dictates the wellness of every other part of my life. If I’ve got a clear handle on something mentally, I’m more confident in my ability to move it forward, to watch it progress.
Two months ago, I began meditating in the morning before the day begins as a way of committing to the creation of an environment where my headspace is valued. 15 minutes a day, I sit cross-legged on a pillow and learn more about myself. I explore how my thoughts move from one to another, how to observe that as it’s happening, and how to let it go. I have in opportunity in each second to center myself–my body, my thoughts, my emotions, the spirit inside of me–with my own self.
I equate it to looking into the sky and watching the clouds pass by. My thoughts (clouds) move through my mind (the sky) and I have the opportunity to simply notice the thoughts intersect with one another before they slip out of view.
I still haven’t been able to sit without getting distracted. I imagine it’s due to how chaotic life can be, and the thoughts or reflections that are associated with that. I fidget, I think about what I have to get done, I panic, I observe it, I let it go. I breathe in and out and count each breath as blessings I didn’t know I always needed.
I hope to one day be able to write about the progress I’ve experienced. Until then, I’ll sit with my heart open and observe the world passing through me.
I often think of the scope of learning. To learn is to think, listen, respond, reflect, read, write, and by the end of the day, have something new cultivated through it all. Even old concepts deserve a second or third or fourth look. Even the loved ones in our lives have stories we can work to understand better.
Central to learning is the practice of rest. We live in a world that enables us to spend our energy on grinding days out, one after another, until we collapse from exhaustion. This isn’t bad, but it also isn’t something to romanticize. Being exhausted is not a badge of honor. We are not competing with one another to see who can elude sleep the longest.
Yes, there is work to be done. We’ve got a million and five things to do and places to be and people to see. Our work is cut out for us; we have the power to bring people together, to educate each other, to grow into the people we’ve dreamed of becoming for so long.
Some of my best ideas come to me when I’m not trying to make ideas come to me. Some of the best moments of understanding occur when I’m taking a step backwards and away from the crowd. It’s in these moments of solitude that I’ve found the quiet, which continues to breed inside of me the confidence to let go.
What have I learned? Give yourself space to disconnect from the world for a few moments. The work will still be there tomorrow. Your friends will understand if you need to take a step away. You won’t need to explain personal peace to anyone. Your energy is important, too. Your headspace deserves good things, too.
Allow yourself the opportunity to give your mind some color. You’ve held it in a chokehold for too long; let loose your grip, practice restraint. Bring some clarity to your heart.
U n w i n d.
Watch the answers slowly emerge and begin again.